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adoption misconceptions

Your Common Adoption Misconceptions, Explained

The adoption process is an exciting time for you and your family. Choosing to adopt a child is a big step, and you are truly embarking on the journey of a lifetime. However, if you or someone in your family is planning to adopt a child, there are a lot of common adoption misconceptions you might be hearing or reading about. Chances are, if you’re questioning your ability to adopt, or are wondering if you’ll be able to, it’s because of a misconception floating around.

Instead of listening to all the common myths said about adoption, we wanted to address those concerns, and provide you with accurate information that will benefit you, your family, and future child.

You’re Nervous About An Open Adoption

There are many misconceptions circling around open adoptions. For some parents, they feel worried that open adoption will compel birth parents to want to take their children back – and that is simply not true. Birth parents are waiving their legal rights to caring for this child once they give you their consent and receive a copy of the PPA (pre-placement assessment) conducted by your adoption agency. Open adoption doesn’t leave any open doors for your child to be given back to their birth parents.

An open adoption merely gives all parties a chance to get to know one another and be in the life of the child. Birth mothers and fathers are able to write or call their biological child, which gives birth families a chance to associate with their child if both parties are comfortable. Open adoptions simply avoid the difficult questions your child will no doubt experience later down the road when they start asking questions about their birth parents.

A closed adoption means the adoptive family and biological parent have no contact with one another prior, and after adoption. The child’s parents will remain anonymous to them, unless they try to open their closed adoption.

While there are plenty of initial fears parents will experience going into the adoption process, an open adoption shouldn’t be one of them. It gives your future child the chance to know their birth parents, but will never change the fact that you are their parent.

You Have to Adopt a Child at Birth

Many media outlets previously portrayed adoption as parents adopting a newborn infant – however, there are many ways you can adopt a child. Common forms of adoption include:

  • Infant Adoption
  • Foster care Adoption
  • International Adoption
  • Adopting Older Children
  • Step Child Adoption
  • Adopting a Relative

For many couples, if you want to adopt an infant, you could be waiting a very long time. Exploring other avenues, such as foster care and international adoption, gives you the opportunity to learn about children that need loving families.

Alternatively, if you are a relative adopting an older child or grandchild in your family, or a step-parent who wants to adopt their step-child, these are also very viable options for you and your family. There is no single way to adopt – it all comes down to what is best for the child, and yourself.

Your Adoptive Children Attach Right Away

Depending on which adoption route you choose, it can be difficult for adoptive children to become attached instantly, so don’t expect everything to click right away. If they’ve been in foster care, or experienced a variety of family units in a short amount of time, it can take time for them to fully transition into your family. It’s important to remain positive, and remember that children take time to adapt to a new environment. It might be a few weeks or months before they feel secure in their new home, and it’s important to remain supportive and nurturing, even if they seem a little apprehensive at times. But adopting – and parenting in general – requires tender love at times and tough love at times – stick with it, and be there for them, and there will be love.

Adoption is Very Expensive

It’s true that adoption does come with costs, but that doesn’t mean it’s not attainable. Every type of adoption is different, so there is no one price fits all. For instance, if you have a straightforward, relative adoption, those costs aren’t very significant. However, if you choose to have a private adoption, or go through an adoption agency, those costs can increase because so much of the paperwork and adoptive services are done for you. For a closer look at adoption cost break downs, read our tips on Adoption Basics in North Carolina. It is probably cheaper (and potentially FAR cheaper) than the cost of delivering a baby, with the average birth costing anywhere from $10,000 to $30,000+ according to some sources.

Regardless of how you adopt, it’s important to remember that you won’t be going through the process alone – your adoption lawyer is there to support you every step of the way. From finding the right agency, filing the paperwork, and being the moral support you need when things get tough, it’s important to find the right adoption lawyer when you’re adopting a child in North Carolina.

Are you ready to ignore the misconceptions, and feel ready to file for adoption in North Carolina? If you’re looking for an adoption lawyer in Winston Salem, Greensboro, or Kernersville, North Carolina, the attorneys at Apple Payne Law would be happy to assist you. If you want to learn more about the legal side of the adoption process, check out our list of adoption services, and once you’re ready to begin, contact Apple Payne Law to speak with a legal associate.

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